Thanks guys

I had an unexpectedly good time today and yesterday. Ate a lot of good food, had a lot of laughs, so im able to fly off to nz on a good note. But i guess i need to explain the previous post lol.

To summarise what happened, the week din't go the way i hoped for. Thinking that the week would be very free since i was going to fly off soon, i thought about whether i could organise any outing to celebrate my 21st birthday. After all, alot of ppl make a big celebration or something on that date.

I told myself that actually it wasn't such a big deal. After all, I myself don't really remember or make big plans for anyone's birthday usually, so i tot that i shudn't expect too much from ppl either. But of course there were some things i wanted to do. Wanted to like hang out with the 07 gang for bbq or maybe go for all jap songs karaoke, eat some jap food etc.

I dint expect that they would rope me in for parade for arty commander from wed to fri. The days were like 5am wake up, reach jurong camp and train from 8am-7pm. It wad really tough and friday ended at 8pm, way later than i expected, so i booked out half dead from exhaustion. But surviving all that just made me look forward to the weekend more.

Went out for birthday dinner on saturday, which was pretty decent, after that walked around abit before going home. When i reached home i realised that i lost my wallet despite barely taking it out at all, only when i returned my dad money when he helped me change nzd.

It wasn't really a big deal, thinking back about it. But at that point of time i was quite upset. I thought my mum was blaming me again for all the trouble im causing, even though the way i lost it wasn't really my fault  I thought i wouldn't be able to retrieve it even though there was really only one place i could have left it. And i thought about how i had to go back to search, not find anything, and having to cancel all my plans, resettle everything in the one day i had left before flying for new zealand.

I tried to pretend like things dint matter but deep down i was actually quite easily hurt by how everything seem to go wrong. That it was my fault for being mean to ppl and careless all the time thats why these kind of things happen to me.

But by a stroke of luck, the next day my parents managed to contact the store and retrieve my wallet. Then after that i had a meal at pizza hut with the gang and went to pins house to play mahjong and talk nonsense the whole day.

It wasn't anything very extravagant but it made me really happy. I realized that my family cared for me in their clumsy way. Even if they are naggy, troublesome, annoying, they helped me without me asking anything from them. And even though it was just a simple meal and a mahjong session, i was realy glad that it dint get cancelled. That i could just chill, flame random ppl, be high and have fun.

I guess it sounds really cheesy and even though things dint turn out the way i wanted, i still had a lot of fun. So yea, thanks guys. I guess im to shy to show my appreciation to ppl directly but u guys probably know it anyway haha.

K la 10 more mins to fly off. There's always another time to go for a bbq or a karaoke session. Looking forward to come back already haha. Bye ~~

P.S. Why am i an akari lol. I thought i was closer to kyouko cos im quit3 retarded heheh.

hi im sad. comfort me pls?

hi im sad. comfort me pls?

i was really looking forward to tmr, but now the mood has been destroyed. the timing was just so bad. im sorry guys.

im too shy/proud to seek comfort from my family members. but im just wishing someone would comfort me.

time to sleep. life goes on. things always aren't as bad as they first seem

the new year ahead

im finally back after not posting for so long. i thought i finally gave up on the blog, but i just feel like posting something whenever the new year comes.

this year wasn't a bad year actually. its just that army is boring, army makes u do a lot of meaningless things. but it wasn't that bad after u finished everything. at least u can look back and say u did many things, however ridiculous, however uncomfortable, whatever nonsense ppl made u do.

all the stuff that i did gave me a sense of calm about everything. its all a cycle: i dread some shit that somehow only my unit seems to need to do, then it turns out less badly as i expected, then i complain and laugh it off once its over. all in all, its actually not that bad, though i wouldn't go so far and say it was fun, kinda.

towards the year end, i'm starting to get alot of free time. probably have watched more anime this year then all the other years combined. i just feel like clearing all the stuff on my list, that somehow seems to grow longer the more i watch haha. but i felt like i gained alot of entertainment, cos like every new anime is more music to put on my phone, as well as something to play on my guitar heheh.

anyway, i guess if i were to compare my life to other ppl (especially nowadays all the instagram photos are like wowz), mine would be quite bland and boring. but i guess i've gotten a small sense of tranquility, through a lot of small achievements and learning how to ignore things i cannot control. and nothing really is that bad since i dont have any real responsibilities whatsoever.

things like getting better in guitar, transposing all my favourite songs, passing my N3 jap and feeling my jap knowledge expanding, having less moments of stress and more retarded moments. it could never compare to those times i had in school, but in a way it has been pretty fun. after all the downs that i had when i first ended up in my unit, nowadays its starting to have alot of ups, slowly but surely.

being bored is like a sort of bliss, because it means u have nothing much to worry about or rush to finish something. and i guess im sort of lucky. i have weekends where i just go to pin's or chee's house to mahjong, lepak, talk about all sorts of nonsense and all. it's kind of the only thing i do nowadays, and it's more than enough to keep me entertained.

this new year is gonna be a year of change. i'd break free from my troublesome, eventful yet tranquil life in army, go on a trip of a lifetime to japan with all the fegs i've spent so long with, learn driving, then enter uni. i really don't know what to expect, but what i've learnt from this whole year is not to think so much about something when u don't have to. it'll all probably come naturally. i guess i have alot of expectations, but i wouldn't be surprised anyway if its completely different from what i think.

anyway, im turning 21 this month. i know its supposed to be a big year, and previously i thought of doing a lot of big things, but now that im so close, im not really expecting anything big. because i dont expect myself doing big things for other ppl, so i really shudn't expect to get big things from other ppl as well. that's how things work. but if possible i wanna have some bbq-sleepover ex-07 style haha, or maybe a day where ppl accompany me to karaoke so that i can sing all the jap songs i want.

and idk, maybe my resolution this year would be the Amagami Challenge haha. nowadays i know i don't really care about getting a gf since im not really that lonely anyway cos of the mahjong gang. and its fun to ship jookee and pin or wong and chee, or just stir shit in general heh. but i guess im still slightly envious of the relationships that have started and lasted till now, it seems like a really blissful thing.

of course its not all good, things won't turn out the way i imagined them to be. im just a little bit despo i guess :P. but yea la, i won't rush into things like i did in school, cos its like super embarassing lolol. just let nature take its course heheh.

ok la that's all for now ba. idk when's the next time im posting, but bye ~~