k-on!

can't believe i'm making a post on this haha. so ya for those of u who din't know, k-on!'s a slice-of-life anime that everyone tells me is not that outstanding, but which i found it pretty awesome haha.

it's not like the plot is anything superb, but something like wanting to try to form a band in high school works for me. not too mention i just started learning guitar not long ago and there's a lot of references there that i can understand, which makes it kinda entertaining. and like i kinda see a bit of myself in yui. she's damn blur and needs a lot of help from ppl around her, but she's also very earnest about what she does and really cares for her friends.

i think i liked the show so much cos they make playing in a band seem very fun, which is something i always wanted to try (actually i did, but only for a short while and it was kinda embarassing >.<). 

most of the show were mostly jokes and fooling around, which some parts are actually quite lame lol. but the true essence of the show are those few scenes that really stand out cos it's very heartwarming. like the part where they all cried when they realized that they just finished their last high school concert together really got to me. the kind of fuzzy feeling u get when u see moments of genuine friendship despite seeing them fool around with each other most of the time.

and also the songs are damn good. ok la not all of them are that fantastic, and most of them have pretty ridiculous lyrics actually tbh. but some songs just seem really fun and they grow on u. my favourite songs are those sung by mio ('don't say lazy', 'listen!' and 'no thank you!'), cos her singing is fantastic, and the guitar playing involved really impresses me and makes me want to be able to play them too. but most importantly, its cos the songs sound really fun haha.

anyway, my opinion on seiyuus(voice actors) like these are that their voices are a bit too high pitched (kinda like children) and its kinda strange to see grown women speak like that (yea i probably just incurred the wrath of all the seiyuu otakus out there...). though of cos that's how its supposed to be cos they provide the voice of anime characters after all. 

but then when i saw the live concert on youtube, my impression of them changed completely. i always thought they were just doing the singing and there was some professional band doing the playing. but nope i was damn wrong, had no idea that they were so talented. i still think their voices sound kinda weird when they're talking, but when they perform they really sound damn goooood. if i were to go to their concert, i'd probably fanboy really hard haha.

so ya i realized these songs are indeed what i really want to learn and play. i know english songs are pretty good to play too, especially taylor swift songs, and even the older classics like stairway to heaven impressed me. and i know that most ppl probably don't know my songs or think they sound kinda weird. but in the end, it's these jap songs which i learned from anime that i love the most haha. i don't think i can properly explain why i like them so much. they just have the right mix of rock, melody and emotion in the songs, which makes me get carried away whenever i hear them in my head haha. 

i guess i have quite a bit of attachment to these songs too cos i really went to study their lyrics when i first started learning jap, and cos i love the anime they came from as well. and i really hope that one day i will be able to sing and perform them too (though there'll probably be a better singer in the band haha).

so yea let me show off a bit here in my private space and list down all the songs that i learnt how to play :P (i really spent a lot of effort on these songs, okay)

'secret base' from anohana

'startear' from sao

'kimi iro signal' and 'sora-iro days' from saekano   

'sora wa takaku, kaze wa utau' from fate

'links' from railgun

'ambivalent world' from bakemonogatari

'don't say lazy' from k-on! (ok definitely not an appropriate transcription until i get an electric guitar)

still working on completing the tabs for more, like 'harukaze' by scandal and 'cherish you' from saekano. and now i can add k-on! songs to the list :P. 'no thank you!' is a really fantastic song imo, if ur interested u should go and listen to it haha.

ok la enough ranting from me now. i'm sorry i made 90% of the ppl who don't understand what im saying read this. it's really just me talking to myself cos i don't have anyone to speak this to in real life without feeling awkward haha. anyway, that's all for now. bye ~~

motivation to learn

when i first got my guitar i was pretty excited, even though i kind of bought it on a whim. at first it felt quite cool to be able to play a semblance of a song just by learning a few chords. even though it took quite a while to get used to it. but in the end there's not much feeling of achievement because just playing chords alone doesn't feel like ur really playing the song.

so i kind of spent countless unproductive hours on my guitar playing random stuff, feeling like i can't really play anything. tried all sorts of hard chords that the online tabs gave, but they din't make it sound that much better, and it made the song too hard to play. sometimes it made me feel like i wasted my time.

but im glad i stuck to it. its been 4 months and i guess i learnt quite a lot, taught myself a little theory on major and minor chords, barre chords, fingerstyle, etc. i finally managed to learn 4 to 5 relatively complete songs imo, which i'm honestly quite proud of haha. dat feeling when u finally finished making the tabs, and being able to play songs that u always wanted to play smoothly, even if its not perfect. of course i know im still far from good, cos i keep fumbling and playing the wrong notes or strings sometimes.

~~~~~

same went for me when i was learning jap. i kinda burnt a lot of time reading tae kim's guide (this app that taught me almost everything i know), and also trying to figure out song lyrics on my own. even tried to read light novels and mangas in jap (turned out to be too troublesome to be fun haha). 

i procrastinated alot, though occasionally i get this sudden urge and motivation to learn more. such as when i was going to my exchange trip in japan. i wanted to be able to speak to my buddy more, as well as understand and enjoy my experience there. i guess that was my original aim in learning the language.

but after starting to learn it, i realize that i found it fun. it wasn't fun all the time, like when i tried reading the guide, i still felt lazy to read the whole wall of text. or just repeating those vocab quizzes over and over till i got better. idk why i mindlessly went to do all these things just for the sake of doing them. 

but it was rewarding in the end. like when i realized i could understand basic conversations that i happen to hear, in real life or in anime. or when lyrics started meaning more because i finally understood what they meant. or when im able to read the jap words in some products. even though in the end im still unable to understand a lot of things anyway, especially when i went to japan, it still gives me a little sense of achievement.

~~~~~

i guess my point is that these two things are things that i really like to do, and has somewhat become a part of me now, especially seeing how far i have come just by self-learning, doing it at my own pace. i probably have a lot of things to say about them, and it really makes me excited when i get a chance to use what i have learnt.

probably explains why i got really hyped up after taking the n3 test, which i found quite fun. or when ppl invite me to karaoke to sing jap songs haha. and it is also why i really want to join a band again, so that i can play all those jap songs that i like, as well as put all these things i learned to use. but its kinda unfortunate that i don't really have anyone to talk with about these things though. not that there isn't anyone doing it, but it's kind of an awkward topic to bring up because no one really seems interested.

i have a lot of things i want to talk about, like how i want to form a band after watching k-on, or like how i felt inspired to learn jap again cos i took the n3 test last week, but i've been keeping all these thoughts to myself, cos there's no one for me to share these ideas with without probably boring them.

so ya in the end it boils down to me feeling lonely cos no one else is doing it with me D:

right now, im trying to learn how to play 4 to 5 more songs on my playlist that i really like, and i do find it fun, but up spending a lot of unproductive time, and sometimes i wonder why im doing it, i end up procrastinating quite a lot also because sometimes i get stuck when i can't think of the correct chord or why it just doesn't sound right. and im kinda worried that i'd stagnate or lose motivation cos i haven't been learning anything new for quite a while already.

that's why it'll be really nice if there was anyone who could teach me new stuff, or try learning or doing something new, like learning electric, forming a band etc. its just some really huge desire of mine to just try something special, cos otherwise life would be boring if i don't do anything. it'll probably take a lot of effort, but if there was someone else who wanted to try making a band with me, it'll give me a lot more motivation to learn, as well as make me feel very fulfilled.

maybe i should take courses, cos it's probably the easiest way to go if i wanted to improve, but as usual its about the $$$ and committing my precious weekend time (that i usually just waste anyway lol). that electric is not cheap (~$500), and neither is the courses too ($380 for 12 lesssons). i just ain't decisive enough to make a decision, so helppp >.<

~~~~~

ok la but things aside, recently life's been pretty good. taking my offs every monday, enjoying short weeks, and recently being going out quite a bit too. so yea i guess i'll end this long wall of text now :P. idk if anyone got what i was trying to say though haha. kk that's all for now, bye ~~

a week off from camp

i guess i really should change my blog's url haha, since it's quite irrelevant to me now. but at the same time i don't really have any idea of what to change it to, and ppl have to relink, so i shan't do it yet haha.

this week was quite a fun week. actually i kinda burned like 4 offs, so i was in camp for only wednesday, which turned out to be a half day cos of SAF day lol. so i kinda had a block leave. i received news that i got 7 extra offs due to my involvement in sea games (wow wow co so generous) on top of the 5 that i got from ippt gold yea. and i haven't touched a single day of leave yet, so that's 22 more days off to spend :D.

sea games really was alot of saikang and waking up super early and going home super late, carrying barricades half my weight and shit haha. in some way now that its over, i guess i got quite a bit of learning experience from it lol.  ever since it was over, and preparations for ndp and outfield as well (which was abt 2 months of track maintenance every single freakin day), i've been enjoying a pretty lull period for quite some time. which will end pretty much next week >.<

i guess saf is kinda the only place that compensates u with so many offs for all the extra shit u have to do, compared to any organisation outside, and im kinda very used to it already. i stopped getting angry or upset at ppl or stuff. its pretty normal to have ppl rage (anyone, including commanders) or do stupid things cos they're made to do some extra shit, but in the end they don't really mean any actual harm. though of cos no one who reads this probably want to see me praise saf haha.

~~~~~

made a lot of progress with my guitar recently. i think i've spent a bit too much time on it the past week tho (at least 20 hours :P). there's something called the fingerstyle, where u play bass strings with the thumb and melody with the last three strings, and it's the closest u can get to playing a song solo. after learning my first song in fingerstyle (secret base from anohana), i tried to find more songs to play in this style, but turns out its either electric, has someone else to help play the base, or just too damn hard for me (with weird tunings and customized capos and stuff haha).

so in the end i had to make my own simplified versions, with reference to chords and harder versions out there. im still very noob at this, but i practiced startear from SAO for so long that i kinda mastered it and remembered all the finger positions. it made me damn proud when i finally could play it well enough that someone pro-er than me in camp said it sounded quite nice :D. so i got inspired to try and learn the other songs i like, which i end up playing them in a similar fashion.

so far i have about 4-5 songs that i can play this way, which i all kinda just started learning last week. all haruna luna songs for some reason, but i really like them haha. in the end it still took a considerable amount of effort and fingerpain, and i cant remember the finger positions by heart anymore, have to refer to my self made tabs haha. but nevertheless, let me enjoy a moment of being proud in my private blog here :D D :D.

i guess im a bit over my head now, since there are probably a lot of ppl out there doing the exact same thing. but i kinda want to relive those days when i was in a band at school. at that time all i did was just sing jap, but i can play an instrument now (finally), and i kinda don't mind going the extra mile to make it happen as long as ppl are willing to do it haha. though i probably should get better first. i kinda feel like buying an electric too but amp + guitar is at least 500 for anything not more than decent heh.

~~~~~

met up with 604 peeps yesterday, which are kinda the only other group other than the ex-07 gang in sch i know well enough anymore. played board games at mindcafe haha. i missed doing that, its been a long while since i've went. only end up playing resistance/avalon, dixit, and shadow hunters in the whole 4 hours. i ended up talking wayyyy more than i expected haha,

i pulled off some pretty jian mindblowing in avalon. ended up doing the mission all 5 times and was the one who sabotaged it thrice, but i pinned the blame on all the other spies in the grp. heheh kinda jian of me but its only a game la haha.

ate at astons for dinner then talked a bit and played some bridge. probably forever since they last played heh. what ppl told me about uni was that the ppl are nice on the outside but actually quite selfish and fake and they don't really have qualms about ditching each other if they have to. i guess it's true to quite some extent la, cos ppl are doing this for their own survival too, but i guess there probably should also be nice ppl out there too, just need to get to know them better.

hopefully i can find a few good friends in uni (and maybe coerce them to make that anime band with me >D), but in the end i always have the few old friends from school i can fall back on haha (which are really much nicer than most ppl out there, which i see alot from army). who mind but don't mind putting up with the shit i keep saying and doing haha. thanks a lot guys :P

~~~~~

i know this has gotten quite long already but got one last thing to say. i took jlpt n3 today, which in all honesty i din't study that much for but at the very least i did review all the harder grammar and kanji i picked up over the last 3 years. just realized its been that long alr heh. although i din't really improve much for the last 2 years but at the same time i kinda consolidated everything i learnt slowly, through watching anime and learning song lyrics and other jap stuff.

i guess i did pretty ok haha. grammar and compre section was surprisingly rushed, cos the passages were so damn long, and idk if my reading skills are bad, but it was so long winded and the options so similar that my mind got woozy from all the reading. but i managed to finish just on time haha. listening test also caught me off guard. some questions were not printed at all, so questions and options were all through listening. when i missed the key point of the dialogue, usually due to lack of enough context to get what was going on, i kinda had to make a few blind guesses.

but overall i think i did okay haha, after all that self study. i guess jookee is right la, n3 is the kind of level u can pass from watching anime and studying a little by urself, but i actually found the test paper quite fun haha, cos its been a long time since i had to do anything very jap intensive. i hope i can score more than 140/180, not cos of pride or whatever, but cos i just want to ascertain that my standard is at least somewhere there. though of cos all i need to do is pass to get that cert haha.

end up discussing qns with this bunch of ppl from ikoma learning center and stuff. its quite cool (at least for me) to meet ppl who have the same interest in jap (probably some of them are into anime as well), i kinda had a good time debating which options are correct. made me feel like joining a course for n2 level(which i intend to take next year ba, since it was quite fun after all), maybe i'll get to meet more ppl with similar interests and are serious (ok for me not that serious la haha) about learning jap. seems like it'll be a fun thing to do.

and i also met this girl from ikoma who was really nice and cute and i really took a liking to her, she's been learning for 3 years as well, and probably just started college or something. but of course i didn't have that much game to even ask her name or her number haha. i guess it's been a long time since i've met someone i really thought of well, though im probably biased to ppl who can also speak jap heheh. sigh im kinda disappointed that i'll nvr meet her again haha. 
--embarassed at self for typing this :0--

ok la that's all for now haha. bye~~

2nd year soldier

actually im still kinda early making this post, since i haven't been in army for 1 year yet. it feels like i've come a long way, yet at the same time not so long after all.

life now has been quite ok. there has been quite a lot of insignificant changes since the start of the year, mostly army related since yea.. i still have 10-11 months left heh.

many things has improved quite a lot since the start of the year, since the new sergeants came in. they're way nicer and reasonable than the previous batch, and also much easier to talk to. maybe it's also cos we have gotten much more experienced at doing our stuff. recently got promoted to corporal (yay :D)

work has become more efficient, they implemented the shift system, so even though we do alot more work than before (abt 2hrs a day, either doing track maintenance or stuff), we get to rest about twice as much, though the rest never feels enough haha. since pt + stuff, and occasionally they seriously work us damn hard until we damn tired. but its still bearable i guess.

~~~~~

anyway, i also made a bit more friends in army. made a few closer friends, and ppl who used to be a dick to me have become nicer, and yea alot of us play the same games or watch the same anime. and we like to bitch together about the sergeants since everytime they say "try to let us finish earlier" and all that, but it usually never happens. its like we chiong so that we can get more work. actually i don't really mind it that much la haha, just like to join in the bitching.

picked up guitar about a month ago. it was kind of an impulse thing since my family owed me a birthday gift, and i wanted to like learn something new. honestly i din't think i'd make it this far since it was all on a whim haha, but the guitar's a great instrument to learn. u won't really play wrongly, since the chords are all fixed, its just about how well u transition, and how u strum that makes the song sound nice.

i din't expect to get so hooked on it, and i went to self-study quite a bit of theory, since i knew a bit from learning piano before. i went to draw out each note on the fretboard, and wrote down all the major, minor, and seventh chords so that i could understand why the chords are positioned that way and also refer to the more uncommon ones.

recently, i've managed to play a few of the jap songs that i liked, and it made me damn happy. i brought my guitar to camp this week and then everyone suddenly revealed their hidden musical talent and tried some songs (mostly english, since its so much easier to play haha). my army friend even taught me how to make a makeshift capo so i can transpose to the desired key. i think my goal is to play electric once i get better, so that im one step closer to forming that anime band in uni :D:D.

~~~~~

anyway lastly, i watched quite a bit of anime since the start of the year, probably abt 15-20. i think nowadays my preferred genre is slice of life. the really good ones draw out all your emotions, and makes me feel like a human (i guess that sounds weird heh), or otherwise its just a very feelgood anime. my fav was probably shigatsu kimi no uso since the ending was damn good and not many animes can pull that off. and i din't know that classical music sounded so good haha.

i also quit dota, since i was shit at that game, and it just wasn't worth my time lol. but then i started playing this new game called guild wars. im still noob at it though, and i spend most of my time exploring and doing map completion instead of training, but anyway its pretty damn fun heh. was partially the reason why i brought my guitar to camp since i din't practice much at home cos of this game lol.

anyway, yea the year has been quite fine so far, many ups and down. seems like it'll get a bit more lax and fun and then very soon i will ORDloh! (that's another 10 months down the road though). k that's all for now. bye~~

turning 20

yea i am already that old, even though i completely don't feel like an adult.

new year has been quite good so far actually. the past week felt damn long though, can't believe it was just 5 days. since holidays always past so fast and days in army always feel so long haha.

while everyone might think im crazy, i actually feel kinda relieved that im back in army. at least now im somewhat living properly, eating three meals a day, exercising, not sleeping all the way till noon.

plus it seems like i somehow got friendlier with certain ppl in camp now. things are staying quite lax, like the old sergeants don't really tekan us anymore and trust us to do our jobs. since they are going to ORD soon anyway. the new batch of specs replaced them and i know 2 of them, quite lucky haha. one of them is tze how btw.

actually pt has gotten more intense, no longer the standard live run + 2 set of statics. though actually there's more encouragement now since its significantly harder to finish haha. i also cleared VOC this week, the thing that has been bothering me since the start of army heh. finally passed by just 17 secs, even though my group din't have anyone strong, but somehow we pulled through. don't have to do it till next year le heh.

i somehow ended up ranting quite a bit about army heh, since going back was much less sian than i expected it to be.

this year i din't really do anything special for my bday though im going to get a guitar as a present haha. my sis insisted i ask for something i wanted, and i couldn't think of anything else that was under $100. hope i can get it soon haha. going to get nylon strings so that it doesn't hurt my fingers so much. idk how im going to learn, but yea at least i can try some anime songs, and hopefully can form an anime band in uni :D

ok la that's all for now. bye~~

the year's end

this is probably the first time i felt so nonchalant about the new year coming haha. any interest i had shown for it last time was probably cos i wanted to get hyped up with other people, though now it doesn't really feel anything special. but as usual, i feel like reflecting about the year, like most people, cos it seems like an interesting thing to do haha.

maybe its cos the year has been pretty uneventful, and cos i dont really have anyone to celebrate with. army life is ok i guess, the tough and busy times are kind of over and i had quite a long break for this whole month. not really wanting to go back to that busy life next year in feb, but will manage somehow.

i miss those bright days i had in school, it was quite exciting, and as much as u think it may be routine, there was quite a lot of retarded and epic stuff that happened. this year though, i worked for three uneventful months, which was a very slack job to be honest, and i din't feel like i used my time properly. i guess army makes u feel like ur free time is very precious haha.

i don't really hate the army, though at the same time nothing really interesting would happen until these two years is over. maybe that's why i'm not really bothered with a new year starting haha. my life there is ok i guess. i somehow after many months managed to strike a balance, somewhat. i wasn't very well liked at first, and at some point i tried too hard to change that, and it didn't feel very good either cos it hurt when i realized i was still somewhat alone while everyone was forming their clicks.

back when we were in trade course and was quite busy, i din't really like some people there since they keep making this witty, sarcastic, non-cooperative comments. maybe it relieves their boredom and angst, but it makes me feel somewhat irritated. i would slack and choose to do the easier things in army if i can, but when there's no choice or use in delaying things, its better to just faster finish it and get it done with. i end up doing a little bit more than i have to, but i don't want to be a dick to other people. unfortunately, because i'm bad at reading situations, i can't click well with people and end up feeling like the outsider.

but after that i realised it didn't really matter so much, as long as i could get along with a select few, and i kinda like to have my own time to watch my anime, play my games and listen to my songs. and recently i have a lot of free time and i kinda got a little too comfortable, back to sleeping late again and being addicted to whatever im doing haha.

i miss my group of friends back in school for those fun times. i guess the new company in army just isn't as fun. sometimes it's quite fun though, when we play video games in the mess, talk about anime or joke around during the day, play dota together, though it can't really compare to how it was like back in school haha. though as everyone is moving on, it gets harder to maintain that level of closeness.

i guess i kinda lost my social skills due to army. i used to be quite influenced by what other people did and try to go with the flow, though nowadays im truer to myself and won't be influenced to do stuff i don't want so easily. idk if it's a good or bad thing haha, but it's a coping mechanism i guess. i think im becoming an even more boring person, a little less enthusiastic then before. but at the same time im becoming more into anime and jap stuff now haha, its like a mini source of pride for me, and i get quite excited when people talk to me about it.

idk what to look forward to this year, but i really want to get rid of my lack of awareness haha, or at least seem a little less blur than i usually do. i don't mind being joked at or having some candid moments but i don't want to give people a bad impression. if people don't like me from the go it's ok, but i don't want to make people im closer with get this unpleasant feeling when i screw something up. it's a reasonable new year's resolution i guess haha. and of cos as usual, i hope to have as much fun as possible in army lol. and patiently wait till uni comes and my life becomes more interesting again.

kk that's all for now. im going to turn 20 soon o.o. im not ready for this yet haha.