my screw-up

its been quite some time since i posted. boarding dinner feels like such a long time ago, even though its only been just a week. alot of things has happened i guess. yea and i'll finish up my post about it too, though i probably forgot many details already.

so basically monday was class outing, which was really fun, and tuesday was outing with ex-07 ppl, though i was abit too tired to really go all out that day. wednesday and thursday was script checking, but now its finally over. and more and more ppl are moving out of hostel.

frankly, i kinda not want the holidays to come. its been a bit too free recently, and i still don't really know what to do during the holidays. also that hostel is coming to an end really soon. essentially, it has ended, and these few days weren't be much too different from the last except we'll be seeing much less ppl now.

i din't think the year flew past as fast as others did i guess. hostel has been really fun. alot of epic stuff has happened, and i guess i would miss it really badly next year. i felt like alot of things had changed. nvr felt so happy before, like there was so much more than the life i was living the 16 years before. 

i guess i probably din't do as much, experience the things that other ppl did, but it was still pretty epic and fun. i'll have alot of memories about it. i guess i din't do a very good job in blogging all these moments, but there are probably enough to remind me that it was a really happy time here(gah why am i speaking like its already over lol. i still have like two more weeks :P).

finally learnt the truth yesterday. of course when it first happened i was really sad, especially when i was alone, and suddenly the truth struck me. i kinda get how it feels now. but then someone shared certain things with me. it was meant to make me feel better. it wasn't exactly the things i wanted to hear, but it was good. i was told to feel happy about what happened, that it was a good thing. of course, i couldn't exactly go hahaha right away, but it helped me to accept it, and gave me some hope. that things would still go back to normal after this.

things don't always go the way u want to. i knew i screwed up big time, but then it din't really change the consequence anyway. so at least now i know. now i don't regret. i don't resent what has happened anymore, cos i kind of accepted things already. i still feel a twinge of weirdness. i don't really feel like watching anything, doing anything right now. but i guess i'll get over it pretty soon. im close to ok by now :)

ppl are intelligent. they could probably guess what happened just by those two paras above. i din't exactly feel like sharing it, especially those few hours from when it first happened. but i was honest about everything i wrote up there, at least in my point of view. i know, maybe i shudn't have shared this here, but anyway, if anyone understands what happened, just pretend like u don't know ok? thanks :)

ok la this is it for now. bye~~

though there still are some things i'd like to know, but i guess i can't say them anymore