lazy

went to exercise this morning, and was quite surprised by all the activity by then. ppl swimming, running, jogging. i know it feels good after doing something in the morning, but for some reason i can't get myself to sleep properly. and i guess i just can't be bothered waking up early either. im lazy :/

so yea my parents had real trouble waking me up this morning, but somehow they managed to force me to go lol. anyway, i think its pretty amazing how so many people can wake up early and start getting things done in the morning. and gahhh, all this just makes me think how undisciplined i am. i think if my mum knows how undisciplined i am in hostel, i'll be screwed...

i really wonder how all the adults can manage their life without anyone telling them what to do. i mean once im there (which is very, very soon), i need to do everything by myself. like really handle everything. i wonder how do they always make themselves wake up early, do things on time, not forget things here and there, make themselves do things they must do, even though they don't like it, put time every week to exercise.

i guess this is what an ordered life does to u. i mean, there's like no long term break once ur working, so there's no way to just suddenly decide to sleep damn late and wake up damn late and use comp everyday. sometimes i just feel damn guilty about it. i feel like im disappointing others, though not exactly specific, kinda vague actually. i guess im more orderly during school time, but only just slightly. 

anyway, its gonna be real hard for me to change to that... im like the complete opposite. i don't know why i can turn out so different from my parents though. its like i mean i don't want to become this serious, practical person, but i know that right now, im being a huge bother to other ppl around me. ok i shan't describe and further guilt-trip myself. i guess u guys all know already :/. sighhhh

yesterday, my mum and my maid went to maid agency to extend her work permit that expires next year june. she's been her for a really long time already, ever since my second sister was born. however, since she's already 61, if she goes back this hols, chances are MOM would not allow her to come back anymore.

if we really can't renew it, then i guess the last few months before june, we'll just bring her around singapore and let her have fun ba. it has been so long already. i really wonder what it'll be like once she's gone :/

i'll be quite screwed i realised. gonna have to wake up in the morning myself (which is hard for me already), cos hostel doesn't exactly cultivate good sleeping habits lol. need to get everything prepared and make my own breakfast :/. travel i guess my parents can get me a school bus (lucky), but its still gonna be really hard. 

i guess i can learn, but chances are i'll get a lot of late coming offences. ok la at least that's better than waking up late in NS.

anyway, watched finished kokoro connect and yuruyuri. addicted to the songs haha. i really like kokoro connect. don't exactly know how to describe it though, but it really brought out the personalities of the characters. the theme is really good. i guess i shan't spoil though heheh.

and yuruyuri ending was pretty smart haha. i'll miss kyouko's voice quite badly. especially when she says 'akari-chan'. but ah well at least i have the op's and ed's to make up for that :D

which means im starting to watch stuff like jinrui wa suitai shimashita, which means mankind has declined. it is a super o.o anime, but for some reason i kinda like watching it haha. i dunno, i have weird tastes lol.

thinking of having a full day class outing. im kinda reluctant to post on the class wall now though. i got plans, but i don't dare to share it. maybe im imagining this, but somehow i feel like when ppl see me post stuff up there, they don't really care, or they're like siannn. low self-confidence i guess.

but i kinda feel like hosting ppl in my house again haha. this time the group is different, we could still play cards and have hotplate again :D. but we probably won't stay upstairs at mahjong all the way to midnight (remember?). 

damn the outings + sleepovers last time were really fun haha. play somewhere until tired liao, then all crash someone's house to slack off, play cards, play comp even (lol), eat food, eat snacks. but i feel kinda awkward suggesting it to my class, to like come to my house lol. ok i know this sounds really stupid lol. but when nobody says much, i get worried for no reason tskk. i mean i don't exactly reply enthusiastically to other ppl when they host outings. well, now i know..

gonna try doing other stuff now. try. well i kinda failed in trying to stop myself from doing anything for too long. so i decided i gonna do other stuff instead. but i find it kinda awkward to say it here, i dunno why. so yea. do other things. hope it works lol.

ok ranting in all directions haha. shall stop now. and yea damn even though i woke up early, i wasted like 4 hours on my phone. ahhh -whacks self-. ok bye~~

i hate to admit it to myself, but i know that even though i always seem afraid of seeking attention, deep down, im an attention seeker D: