concluding 2011

its 11pm now, just 1 hour before 2012, so not much time oo. everyone's still awake though so u most prolly would see this.

i dint do anything special today, except learn how to clean underwear and socks (not mine), and i actually tot it was disgusting... but i dint consider that all the time my maid and mum were cleaning MY underwear and socks.

so anyway 2011 is ending. had lots of fun this year. every year my life gets better. got a life for once. things i was happy about was i insisted on changing cca and joined media. get to know the 07 ppl more. hung out more and went for more outings. kind of bonded with them now. there's so much more to life than playing games, i realised. my life has kind of turned 180 degrees from 5 years ago, with like no true friends, and doing nothing but playing games.

i feel that every year i become less and less messed up. like really, u would definitely hate the old me. yet i get more and more aware how messed up i still am. still got lots of probs with me. haha i bet u dont expect me to feel that way. cos i dont ever seem to be that kind of person.

im not saying i hate myself. just have lots of bad points i maydont like, or embarassed or scared to let others know about. cos honestly if i was alone i definitely cannot survive. some u alr know, like how forgetful i am, or my super indecisiveness cos im scared to ask other ppl or all that. some i dont want others to know about, but ppl might prolly find out during hostel. thats why it might actually be a good thing im not in the same class as some ppl, cos they might not like me after we work together in a project and i slack off or something.

like i might seem friendly and carefree most of the time. but then sometimes when im engrossed in something, reading a book, playing a game, playing my phone, i change. u might not see it, but it happens a lot at home,  when someone asks me to do something else, a chore, or maybe just simply asking me questions. and i just get super frustrated and angry, and not listening. sometimes i purposely oppose them. its like a very terrible thing that i regret doing.

hoping hostel would change me. kind of excited. im not like saying this to tell u im going to be noble, to try to change myself to a super guai person, cos my conviction is super weak. just going to live life per normal. but i hope that maybe once i wash my own clothes, look after myself, maybe ill become more humble and independent, and not choosy in doing things. hopefully.

but yea i still like some things bout myself. there are some periods when nothing seems to bother me, where i dont feel grumbly about doing unpleasant things or something. and yea im hyperactive, u shud know that by now. its abit weird, but i enjoy jumping around and anyhow spinning randomly. maybe thats why my metabolism is high or something. so i dont have to worry bout being fat and all that. and i usually not as tired as normal ppl, or at least i dont seem to be so tired and sian.

but as usual, im worried of somethings also. im super unhealthy, cos i eat lots of junk, dont drink enough water, dont sit properly, use comp SUPER long until my eyes are dead, can stay up whole night doing something. just happens that my degree is low and i dont seem to be aching everywhere, but yea i need to change my lifestyle. its seriously destroying my body...

but most importantly is still school ba. maybe ill improve again, cos every year i seem to be improving, but its quite hard getting past this barrier, cos im those kind of ppl who do the minimum and all that, so its quite hard to get past this stage. maybe if im interested in the subject then wont have this prob.

ok so thats all the not nice stuff.

so the good stuff is i feel so happy most of the time, and ppl around me. i love my friends, this school, my new freedom after getting a new laptop, how my parents let me go out alot, spending their money, and all that. life seems so good now. hoping it wouldnt change, that i wouldnt age. but ya nothing is eternal. when we graduate ill be so, so sad. but yea enjoy the moment now. we still got two awesome years ahead in front of us. must really cherish the moment, cos somehow i feel that adulthood wouldnt be so much fun anymore.

so yea, i conclude this year with this post. lots of raw emotion in it, hurh. kk im going to watch the countdown programmes already. see u in hostel :D